This holiday season, bring out the fling!

In the 1989 film, When Harry Met Sally, the protagonists make a pact to be each others dates for New Year’s Eve should they be left without a date

December is typically the month of holidays, of meeting and entertaining NRI cousins/friends. Then there are the grand weddings, sangeet functions, and more. As if that weren’t enough, there are the myriad Christmas parties to attend. And the grand finale has got to be New Year’s eve.

But what if you are single? What if you don’t have that someone special to hang out with and kiss at midnight?

“If you have got so much socialising to do, it is definitely nice to have a partner through it all,” says Sonalee Tomar, 25, media professional. “It is fun to have someone by your side when you hang out with a ‘mostly couples’ group.”

Juhee Bhandarkar, 24, marketing professional, finds herself at many such parties at this time of the year, surrounded by couples. “The season brings out the clingy gene in couples,” laughs Bhandarkar. “If you are single and end up with such a group, it can be a bummer. Everything constantly singles out the singles! The passes for all these parties are for couples. If you attend a wedding, you are asked when you are getting married. The pressure is just too much to handle.”

Though being single through the season might mean too much pressure, does all the socialising present opportunities to mingle? “One doesn’t need an opportunity to fall in love. But yes, there is definitely an opportunity to fall in lust,” chuckles Harish Iyer, a 31-year-old media professional and social activist who finds the weather too romantic to be single.

“The need to be with someone is natural, but all the above social factors could contribute to people choosing to be with someone just to avoid being alone,” says relationship counsellor Veena Chakravarthy. “This cannot be a serious relationship and it is best to be clear about it from the start.”

“People invite a lot of singles to their parties, hoping they’ll get hooked up,” says Tomar. “What they usually forget is that things that happen too easily or too quickly are the things you will regret just as quickly.”

Bhandarkar thinks that while you might get introduced to interesting people, the environment isn’t too conducive to start something for the long term. “There is just too much fun factor involved for anyone to think clearly,” she says.

So, what’s the solution?

Chakravarthy suggests that there is nothing wrong with having a fling for the season but cautions against getting too involved. “Also, be honest with your partner about what you expect from the relationship,” she says.

That said, being single on New Year’s eve isn’t as bad as it is made out to be. Gang up with your single friends, go out and have fun.

Originally published on on Dec 9, 2010

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