Confession: I haven’t dated much. My relationships (barely any I’ve had) they’ve been a case of ‘friends become lovers’. Yeah, I can’t exactly call myself an expert on the game of dating, really. But I am a romantic, and I have always been fascinated by love. My quest for love has been interesting. I’ve met boys through the parental route (don’t yawn, its exciting, okay?), through friends (they worry about me and my cynical romanticism). It’s been a fun year dating, sure, but I guess I long for the comfort that a relationship offers. I long to meet a guy who makes me feel comfortable. Comfortable for what and who I am without the frills or the pretences.
Dating is fun, it’s exciting. Which idiot wouldn’t love the anticipation, the excitement, the extra effort to ‘win over’? But at the end of the day, the thrill does die down and you do stop trying too hard (or you completely stop trying at all o_0). Does that mean the excitement is over? I don’t think so.
Beyond that third date the pretences are gone, the guards are dropped and what’s awesome is that you get excited by the real ‘them’. You don’t need to see them dressed hot or smelling good, you just need to feel the warmth of their hug and take in the scent of their ragged old tshirt and feel good!
Of course, beyond the third date, you start investing emotionally and it’s a high risk high return investment (I think I just made my dad proud!) but is it worth it? What if it’s the wrong person? What if he or she doesn’t feel the same about you? What if?
Well as Paulo Coelho says in Brida, to find true love, you need to risk getting hurt. It’s essential to the search.
And in case a relationship gets too boring, you can always surprise each other with a date night where you act all nervous like it’s your first date! A little role play never hurt anyone, now, did it? (I’m told it’s a turn on even! Double deal!)
For more dope check out the podcast that inspired this post: http://www.yaymen.com