Radhika wasn’t a people’s person. Not until she met Anup, who was exactly what she had never been. He brought a fresh fragrance of people with him. He pulled Radhika out of her daily ritual of early dinner followed by some reading in bed with nothing but a glass of wine for company. She found herself fascinated by this fresh aroma of people. But these days the fragrance had started to feel suffocating. Every night as she returned home from a party or a night out on town or said goodbye to their impromptu guests, she’d stare at the unread books piled by her bedside. “I’ll get them,” a voice would say inside her head.
There was a cozy little swing on her balcony. Radhika liked to sit there to relish moments of solitude. Now, most of her time alone was spent answering calls or replying to messages. “Let’s check out this new bar!” “We’re coming over with some delicious wine,” “There’s this play…”
The phone calls never stopped. Radhika often found herself floating from dinner party to dinner party, holding onto Anup’s arms to keep her from trailing away. “This has got to stop!” she thought one day. The soft murmur of guests in the living room, the sound of glasses and plates being ferried around and the sudden bursts of laughter that penetrated through the door were too much to bear today. Was it abnormal to long for just one quiet evening by oneself?
Anup came looking for her in their bedroom. He couldn’t figure out why Radhika looked anxious. Just the sight of the man she loved being all confused about her state ticked something off in her.
“I’m done!” she said, the nerve on her forehead throbbing. Anup came forward and tried to hold her.
“Don’t!” she pulled away
He shrugged and walked out of the room, lightly closing the door behind him. Radhika was alone again, her heart pounding in the walls of her chest, louder than the murmur of conversations outside. The cellphone buzzed on the pile of unread books. The vibrating motion made it fall off the haphazard pile. Radhika didn’t fancy another message inviting her to a party, but she reached for the phone anyway.
“You need time. You’re not done. Take a break. Go away but don’t go away. I love you. Tc. A”
Although she was anxious and miserable, that message brought a faint smile to Radhika’s lips. With an urgent haste, she packed a small rucksack and threw some clothes in. Within minutes Radhika was on her way to her friend’s farmhouse in search of the solitude she had so missed.
No alarm clocks, no reminders, no network coverage, no calls. Just the quiet she had longed for.
“You’re such a cat! Wherever you go, you find a spot and then cozily settle there, purring into your books. Too lazy to get up for a pee even!” her sister had always said to her. In this house, it was the cane chair on the patio. She never wanted to leave the chair but there was nobody to bring her water and tea. How she missed her sister at such times! Finally, she gave in to the call for caffeine and got up to make herself a warm cup of coffee. Radhika watched over the pot of water.
“Never let the water boil violently. Just wait till a few bubbles form and start swimming to the top and then, pour it over the coffee powder,” Anup had said to her on their fourth date.
“It might be instant coffee, but there’s a way to make it perfect,” he had said as he sipped from the big Sagittarius mug in her ill-equipped kitchen. “Well, almost perfect!” and he had laughed.
Radhika realized that more than the caffeine what she craved was that smile, that smooth endearing voice. The cane chair sat on the patio, waiting with her book and her water bottle. Two days ago, this visual would have been her dream, but today, it was just a cane chair and it was just a book.
Radhika was not done. She was ready to go back
Picture by: Aparna Andhare (http://www.flickr.com/photos/aparna_andhare/)
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