Being the oldest grandchild for both sets of grandparents meant that I got to share a special bond with them for a long period of my life. My paternal grandma — Manuaai has had a bout of serious illness. She’s getting better now. But it’s been more than a month in the hospital for her. I thought celebrating her, her spirit would be the best way to send some strength her way. So do read this, and say a little prayer for my Manuaai.
So here are some life lessons she gave me.
1. Be independent:
I’ve seen manuaai take me and Nani (my sister) by our hands to the vegetable market, fish market and the bakery. I’ve seen her start to struggle with her severe knee pain. And I’ve seen her develop a curve in her spine. But what I’ve never seen her do, is ask for a helping hand. She walks with a stick, but she doesn’t lean on anyone (but me and my sister Nani can occassionally bully her to take our hand for support). Manuaai has always valued her independence and until her pain was impossible to deal with, she did her own shopping, cooking and whimsical cleaning.
When the whole world wanted me to find a boy and settle down, she wanted me to get a post-graduate degree and get a job. She prided on my first salary (even though it was peanuts). She’s very proud of the fact that Nani lives by herself in NYC. Forget Lean In, this woman has been teaching us to stand tall (even at our measly 5ft height) all our lives.
When the whole world wanted me to find a boy and settle down, she wanted me to get a post-graduate degree and get a job. She prided on my first salary (even though it was peanuts). She’s very proud of the fact that Nani lives by herself in NYC. Forget Lean In, this woman has been teaching us to stand tall (even at our measly 5ft height) all our lives.
2. The gas stove is a stress buster:
Both Nani & I have spent endless hours hanging out in her kitchen. She’s a phenomenal cook. And she tells the best stories while making Sakhrecha Paak or frying besan for the best besan laddoos in the world (I kid you not! I have the recipe, but don’t have guts to make them).
In her kitchen, unknowingly, I developed a love for different ingredients. And thanks to her, I know that no stress in the world can exist after making a kadhai full of sheera. Or in my little sister’s case, a big batch of Malpuas.
In her kitchen, unknowingly, I developed a love for different ingredients. And thanks to her, I know that no stress in the world can exist after making a kadhai full of sheera. Or in my little sister’s case, a big batch of Malpuas.
3. Don’t compromise on love:
Every time you ask her how her food is the best in the world, she’ll say, ‘because I put love into it’. It sounded like a pompous thing but when you see her cook, you see her watch the oil with a keen eye. When she throws in the mustard, there’s a gentle excitement and she stirs in the onion with greatest care. She watches her pot with love & affection. She is never thinking of finishing this to get to that. All 100% of her is in that moment.
Her logic applies to life, especially in a city like Mumbai. We eat lunch worrying about the post-lunch meeting. We work on that PPT worrying about the word document that needs editing. We are never fully in the moment. And when we accidentally happen to be in that moment, we can do dhamaal.
4. Love thy pets:
Manuaai regaled us with stories about my dad’s dog Bonzo. This Bonzo was some kind of a superhero, the way Manuaai spoke of him. She made me want a pet. When we eventually got a Persian cat Mulayam, Manuaai fell madly in love. Special fish was flown down weekly from Malvan — our home town. It was cooked in a perfect proportion of fish, water & turmeric powder. Yes, some days we wondered if Manuaai loved Mulayam more than us. And perhaps she did.
No food is ever thrown in the bin. It’s always given to the birds on the ledge. She has a crow come to her window every afternoon. He gets chapati, with a rich slather of ghee.
Every time my dog Bono goes over to her house, he gets milk and if I’m not looking — a besan ladoo.
If you’re an animal, Manuaai’s house is the one you want to go to. She’s the reason Nani and I love animals the way we do. She’s the reason why I go around feeding random dogs, cats and birds. And what a fun thing it is to take a break and talk to the pets around.
If you’re an animal, Manuaai’s house is the one you want to go to. She’s the reason Nani and I love animals the way we do. She’s the reason why I go around feeding random dogs, cats and birds. And what a fun thing it is to take a break and talk to the pets around.
5. Sharing is caring, but your Tupperware is your treasure.
This lesson Nani made me realise through a blogpost.
Manuaai cooks everyday. But she only eats chapati and gul. So why does she cook? To pack it into dabbas and send it to people she cares for. She knows everybody’s favorite food. For my wedding anniversary, she gifted me a big dabba full of Paaplet curry. With a neat warning. ‘Dabba limbachya saalane dhuvun mag pathav.’
The Dabba that she sends you, must be washed clean and sent back to her. Don’t send the Dabba and you’re blacklisted.
Me and my sister have both inherited this absolutely crazy attachment to our utensils. But more importantly, we both love to cook and feed the ones important to us.
The Dabba that she sends you, must be washed clean and sent back to her. Don’t send the Dabba and you’re blacklisted.
Me and my sister have both inherited this absolutely crazy attachment to our utensils. But more importantly, we both love to cook and feed the ones important to us.
6. Food must be shared:
My sister Nani and Manuaai have a pact. Of course, because the two of us function as a unit, I have been a cosigner to this pact. We are never to let anyone leave our house without feeding them something.
This means postmen, courier boys & random visitors always get a small chocolate and water from us. Her funda: Hunger is cruel. If we have enough to eat, we must share our good fortune. But even if we don’t have enough, it is important to share whatever little that we have.
This means postmen, courier boys & random visitors always get a small chocolate and water from us. Her funda: Hunger is cruel. If we have enough to eat, we must share our good fortune. But even if we don’t have enough, it is important to share whatever little that we have.